My Daughter Anshi

She has been my greatest gift. She has changed my life into a livable world. I strive hard to make sure she will get whatever she wants. Its been a battle all along and she makes it look so cool and worth...

My College life

My post in our class groups id on 12th December 2003 at 9.25 pm.

Before I read deepus call for a get together I came to realize that
college life is something I miss now and will miss forever. But when
I read deepus call I couldn't stop my eyes flooding spontaneously. I
was very eager to let out one such call but couldn't as I've been
roaming around areas where still Internet is just another buzzword.
At last I could spare sometime today to travel some 5 km to get to
this Internet center. The moments I've spent in the class are nothing
but special with my nocto boiz. I got everything I needed to be
happy – "friends, friends and friends." There were moments our
relationships were on boil and misleaded at times of crucial
takeoffs. But thanks to some hearts who can take control of the

situation and give the boost we needed in the form of WE Friends.
Still we remained in total control of each other. I miss them the
nocto boiz more than anything and anyone else and there's no point in
denying the unwritten truth. The second year class with the formation
of our troup made me feel I'm never alone and will never be alone. We
strengthened each other's relationships and at least one had a deeper
connection with the other. Hence the problems were sorted out by all
of us in a really good way. I'm thankful for those precious hearts,
which shaped us. There's a soul in me, which will always be gratitude
to my friends. Then there went a huge cry for the class to be united
& we did exactly that during our Edifice'03. We have to accept we
succeeded coz' we worked together united. It was one of a success
where almost everyone in the class worked single handedly.

Here in this company there are times I'm stretched to and beyond my
limits. But still I go on coz' I have got some shoulders to lean on
whenever I'm feeling lonely and whenever I feel a bit of pain. Those
times I call the mobiles of vimal, anbu, gopal and LAN line of kundan
and Hyderabad number of karthi and many others without any reason. I
feel most gifted when an sms messages come to me from these mobiles
and mostly I'm given a smile as a gift. There are really hearts,
which pray for each other, and the bond is there to stay. Whenever
I'm hurt by some misbehavior I lonely go through the blanks of the
sky as we used to do during our night study. I browse through my
friends who glitter as stars and occasionally when some people around
me close their eyes around me to wish when some stars fall, I closed
my eyes not to see any such stars falling.

Then the classroom is another major thing I miss. Sitting in the
class, the times I received letters (piece of messages) from round
the direction and the reply I used to send and the occasional teasing
I get from the other side, then a message from gopal "Yenda…… Mandi
Summa utkara mudiyalaya" & suddenly I reply to him "…….Utkaruda".
Then I get a harsh reply from him and after 5 minutes silence
another paper comes from Gopal "Sorry if I hurted u Mandi I love u so
much…"
Then always enchanting kundan with his tilting kundan active always
smiling and making us to smile with his lasery look???
Then comes another message to me from Deepu announcing his nth lover.
But mind u again this time he promises to be sincere and following
with a dialogue this is the last time he'll love and there will be no
more lovers. I thought he is sincere at least this time, oh god
there's another message from him "I think that (new) girl is nice & I
love her sincerely. What to do Mandi".
Then hero sir gives me a SOS call to help him from gopal beating him,
I run to save him and then there gopal and I fight for nothing but
fun with kundan smiling ferociously.
Then there comes another flash news betted by anandavel that Mohan
will not smoke hereafter.
Then Shini comes and shouts to me that kundan has got her 10 Rs. and
I tell him to give the money back. She thanks me but within 5 minutes
I take her purse and loot 50 Rs. and then she shouts at someone else
for help.
Then Anbu says he has to contest the election against karthi and that
he has no choice. We ask him not to do. But he too have no chance and
he accepts that he will not win. I go with him along the geology lab
and say him "sorry this time also I wont be able to vote for u". He
accepts and says there's nothing in it.
Then there comes vimal to picture, always with a smile no matter at
what situation.
Then comes kuruvi slowly to me and says "mmmmm Continue"
Then a piece of Vazhakkai side dish from sheelas Tiffin box and I
hear a notice from padma why don't u eat well these days take a
little from my Tiffin box and I get her Tiffin box full and she
screams I'll never ask u again to take anything from my Tiffin box.
Then Karthi (CR) goes to announce something on stage & I'm still
having a loud talk with someone. He shouts to me "Seenu don't talk"
with a harsh voice. My face drops down and after an hours silence
karthi tells to cool me "Don't talk like that". Then I shook my head
with a bad smile.
Then bavana (My Senior) goes along the window and my head turns to her side
parallely along with Deepu and gopu. Hero sir turns to see if we are
seeing her.
Then kundan goes to library and gets some 10 books. (Please note: All
books written by foreign authors and none of the book bear his card
number)
Then a gang says GATE boys. Sorry it's not GATE its gate. Have some 1
by 6 or 7 as a name given as national unity in a single dhum.
Then someone says lets go to temple and swiftly the team is
mobilized. There we have a nice sleep the nicest place in the
universe to sleep. We were mostly in temple that our Reddy sir decided to take class in temple.
Then another team proclaims Friday funda. With a swift pace money is
collected and the bikes are geared up towards Church (James court),
Temple (Murugan wines) and mosque (Bhai kadai) depending upon the
amount of fund collected.
Then we rush towards the newly opened ECR wines.
Then another team celebrates one-year anniversary for me on Feb 14
2003 in the side gate.
Then there comes Raja saying he don't know vat to do, as she is still
calling him Anna.
Then vijayalakshmi tells screaming `no touching'.
Then Rohini tells "idhunga rendukkum vera velaye ella" and arularasi
nods it saying "adhana".
Then sona calls me for golu in her house.
Then there comes someone's b'day and money is collected and cake is
purchased plus some special item for that particular person. For
kundan idli+bonda, for karti cherry, for gopu bottle, for me barotta
and so on.
Then I write a paper to isai "anyone who wish to join new class mail
service quickmail.com" and I get a reply "keep quiet. Don't keep
nagging others in the class".(We murmur – "Padips")
Then myself and Mohan fight so harshly but I still wonder when we
again started to talk nicely when at that moment of fighting I say to
myself I'll never talk to him again.
Then same thing with kundan he tells in a hard voice "don't take from
my plate (barotta)". Then I say I'll never take anything from ur
plate again in my life and after all these days I came to know that I
forget what I told and had taken from his plate from immediate next
day. These are just egs and these thinks has occurred with almost all
my friends and I never know when I forget those things and these
things do really mean we cared, we loved, we shared and we sailed in
the same boat friendship.
Then there are some nice hearts in Mahesh, sampath etc., which still
complains to me about a share and stint of my life.
Then there comes antonyraj to me and says "Neenga mudichiteengala
antha assignmenta" and I beg him not to call "neenga" and get back a
smile as an answer.
Then there comes a day when we r told this is farewell day. but still
I promise I never realized that it was till that afternoon when
everyone when to the stage and talked and then when we had a lunch my
favorite barottas.
Then something was kicking me from inside to let those few dozens
drops away which I had to release in solidarity. My body did tremble
when I laid myself on the ground on that ruthless day after our
farewell party seeing those stars smiling at me saying its ur end of
happiness.
Then Yes it did made a punch on my face and I couldn't stop my tears
falling when I saw tears in those two pair of eyes which belonged to
different bodies but definitely of a same heart but still cant show
out to each other. Very few will understand who those two souls are.
And very few understand what that sacrifice means. But I have a wish
those two souls were still one.
Then there are so many thens to follow but I conclude to let u
sometime to rest as for now.
Then to end this continuation I declare "I MISS U SO MUCH MY FRIENDS"

But i do regret i miss them and u.bye...

Journey from Puduvai to Mahe

When the Swaraj Mazda hovered through the streets of my own pondicherry, I realized I was creating a record in itself of having had declared won in my thirst for my life with the one I loved. It was a milestone when people got ready by early 4 A.M to accept and accord their approval. I had a sleep of satisfaction still wondering how the other side took it. When I reached Mahe, I felt home again. All the while I thought what is going to happen today and tomorrow. What is going to be my future and how God took my past actions. All the way I felt someone holding my heart tight enough to control its new found speed of pumping its blood as if it is the last time it is going to pump blood. Something in me reaffirmed its happy moments ahead and indeed it is going to be history of its sorts. I was quite astonished to see people who had gathered in numbers just wondering how come two families agreed for the marriage when there was just too much of difference starting from which side the bride and bridegroom need to stand. It was nerve picking to hear people say you do it this or that way. No one realized that they were doing something new or clashing two lingo cultures. When I held her hands for clothing her nude finger with a ring I felt I shouldn't get my hand away from the heatness it offered to my frozen confidence. I felt she was mine till my woods and beyond too. When I thought she'll be able to spend sometime with me there came a reminder telling me there is another 3 months wait. It was irking bad on my wish for having spent sometime nearer. It felt hard as I was worried coz she was not comfortable with something which happened. I was broken when I heard from her "I'm helpless". She was tired of something and I knew she wanted me by her side. I had to be content with the date of marriage announced. For the first time I felt that it is a huge wait ahead. I was amused with this sort of a feeling as I waited patiently for these much years and couldn't go through another 3 months without her nearby. May be her unrestlessness today made me feel so today. I broke into tears when she held me responsible for delay in coming to her house bluntly calling me not punctual. I felt she doubted my need for her. She was rude in charging me for it. Still I composed and tried to gather her pieces into one but when God couldn't hold hearing me cry to her, renounced her from hearing it by blanking off my mobile's energy in terms of finance and strength. There I was standing alone in the station just wondering what went dry in my life. Why is that I'm running away from her. Was that for money or was that for responsibility which I cherish. The journey from Puduvai to Mahe was not short of any kind of emotions. It was filled with happiness, sorrow, ecstacy, boldness, passion, joy and everyother feeling in the universe which people come across their whole life and having satisfied my wishes of being one to have achieved something notably. So I cheer ' Atlast I correction We did it. Being equally responsible for getting the one I loved I feel extremely elated as she was my best of choices who is more than what I deserve. She is as elegant and caring as I can be for me and than me. I feel bad at times of having had an attempt on my relationship with her which she won by mere grace and authority over me. I feel how daring I was to have pronounced her the asset I couldn't have earned in all my lifetime. She was an achievement in herself as she fought to make me and my love win. Somewhere I read it is good to marry someone who loved you than to someone you love. But I felt gifted to have both mine. She is a natural companion of mine, the one I can trust for my tears of joy and sorrow. Whenever she tells "I doubt you tell me all the truth about any sorrow in you". I feel bad and good as someone can love me more than me. I'm a deprived soul of time and this fact makes me feel bad of how I am going to cater her need for me. I want to speak to her all day and night but I know it is a distant dream. I still have that confidence in me that I can give the most in me by just staying close to her for an hour with my love and care. I would love to repeat the same foolproof things of running behind her and longing to be spendthrift in oozing time out with her no matter where I am positioned. In this tender age I feel I've accomplished my life. I've had it all. I've loved and I've been loved. I had people around me who cared for me like someone who wanted me for them to be alive all in their true spirit. I'm blessed is what I can say the most and the least. All this I got without anyone expecting anything else than my care for them. They wanted me to love them and care for them. I can't complain and I can't change her view on that. Afterall she loves me like no one else want to do. She can't stand to see if I can be loved by someone else. I just cant figure what blessings I've got that just too many people stake claim on me. But she is that special someone who can send a chill unto the spine with her little words of comfort and touch to lift me up when I'm down to the deepest effortlessly. She has the special place as my wife who can make me confidant and attached to this world. I've been an admirer of her ever since she started to talk to me. She has been my best soul. She had made me long for her words of closeness. She strived to make me high and young in my thoughts. She constantly told me I can do it when it was just too hot to bear and too chill to cheer. She did everything with passion and made me cherish even the least of things concerning us likely the rice thrown at us as a mark of acceptance by people and collected thievously from her head. I feel so young that I can catch hold of the high tension powerline and go for a swing. I feel shadowed by her presence near me as I rightly quote she has majority holding in me as someone who cannot be ruled out of my heart no matter it ceases to be dutybound to pump the red liquid.